10 Awful 2013 Films You'll Never Watch Again

5. Movie 43

Why is it that all-star ensemble movies of recent times just can€™t seem to get their act together? I will admit, this movie seems to attempt something far more offensive than the squeaky-clean Valentine€™s Day/New Year€™s Day line of fluff, which is somewhat admirable. But it just isn€™t funny...and for a comedy movie, that is a death sentence.

I€™m really not sure how they got so many stars to act in this. Pretty much everyone is in this movie, including Richard Gere, Halle Berry, Kate Winslet and Hugh Jackman, are people who don€™t normally participate in such lowbrow material. The movie is comprised of 14 different sketches, all of which leave no impact on the viewer. They are promising, sure, but they think that simply throwing gross gags at the screen is enough to make people laugh.

For example, one sketch is about Hugh Jackman having a pair of testicles that come out of his neck. Another sketch revolves around a woman who wants her fiance to s**t on her. A black basketball team get coached on how to win a game by simply being black, a middle-school girl on her period causes an uproar, and an MP3 player that looks like a woman is chopping off penises of its buyers. How appealing does all of that sound?

You can almost sense these writers trying to come up with the craziest, grossest things they can think of and then reverse engineer that into a script instead of letting it happen naturally. Great comedy has a kernel of truth in it, that is why it resonates with us and makes us laugh. I€™m afraid there is none of that to be found here.