Home Alone, you might scoff? What place does a family-holiday-comedy movie have on this blood-spattered rape-heavy list? There's actually a case to be made that this one should be higher up as Macaulay Culkins Kevin McCallister is seemingly one of the only protagonists capable of defending his familys house. A couple of paint cans on strings, some jacks on the floor, and boom! No more home-invasion. In case you were locked in a closet for the duration of your childhood and that closet didn't have a television with ABC Family running this movie ad-nauseam, here's the basic premise: an Irish-Catholic family accidentally leaves one of their many children home alone (get it) when they go on their holiday vacation. After coming to terms with his freedom, that son is forced to fend off two burglars hell-bent on cleaning out the mostly deserted neighborhood, to hilarious result of course. Even though this movie is a funny Christmas romp, it must be mentioned that Joe Pesci and Daniel Sterns (Marv!) characters shouldve been dead more than a few times by the last frame of picture. But then the studio might never have produced the four (!) sequels and three videogames (wut?) that followed. Keep the change ya filthy animals.
Joe Sippy grew up in Chicago and now resides in Los Angeles. He enjoys corn dogs, rap music, and horror movies. On weekends you can find him in the ocean, surfing very poorly.
