10 Best 'Worst' Movies Of 2017 (So Far)

Assassins Creed is your typical story about the quest for the mythical Apple of Eden, which according to the opening text crawl “contains not only the seeds of man’s first disobedience but the key to free will itself.”

Before you can speculate on what Mel Brooks would do with a line like that, Marion Cotillard saves Michael Fassbender from lethal injection and hooks him up to a gizmo that transports him back through time so he can enter an ancestor’s body and get caught up in a succession of large scale action sequences. And that’s just the first twenty minutes.

Assassin’s Creed is complete nonsense, but thanks to the efforts of its technicians it really looks the business, with pin-sharp cinematography and excitingly choreographed action scenes that just about compensate for the sequences where humorless characters sit around pontificating about apples and free will. Plus, when else are you going to see an actor of Fassbender’s stature growling out a version of Patsy Cline’s Crazy?