It's sort of bewildering when you actually take the time out to think about it. How did a "family movie" as convoluted, confusing and overblown as Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest ever get made? And by Disney, no less, who have pretty much spent the best part of a century fine-tuning the formula for pictures in this genre. How did they screw up the sequel to the breezy, anything goes original so badly? Dead Man's Chest is an anomaly, then: the kind of movie that audiences trick themselves into believing that they love, because: "Look! There's Johnny Depp and he's being Jack Sparrow!" and "Wasn't the first movie in this franchise great? Which means that this one is, too, right?" Nope. The plot inherent to this ridiculously excessive follow-up is so impenetrable that you have no other choice but to just stop paying attention to it. Running at a colossal two hours and twenty minutes (who agreed to that?), Dead Man's Chest awkwardly switches between scenes of ham-fisted exposition and action sequences that don't know when to quit. Johnny Depp offers light relief in the form of Jack Sparrow, and the special effects are impressive, but all said and done... well, Dead Man's Chest stands as an overwrought and long-winded cure for insomnia. Like this article? Did you manage to sit through any of these pictures without nodding off? Agree or disagree with any of our choices? Did we miss anything? Let us know in the comments section below.
Sam Hill is an ardent cinephile and has been writing about film professionally since 2008. He harbours a particular fondness for western and sci-fi movies.
