10 Brilliantly Stupid TV Guide Descriptions Of Classic Movies

What is the Slovakian translation for Sexy Disco Party Time? Screaming Torture Time of course.

After the murder of his aunt, uncle and mentor, a young man abandons his home and joins a terrorist cell, seeking retribution against the military establishment that wronged him.
A gritty, urban thriller or another way at looking at Star Wars? Distilling an iconic movie down to one or two lines that won't spoil anything can be really, really hard. Take out a few key references and it can sound like something else entirely. So imagine how difficult it is for a TV guide writer to maintain that balance between producing a brief synopsis to those who have never seen the film and giving away the plot in one bite sized chunk. TV guides, be it in a magazine, Sky, Netflix or something else entirely, have failed numerous times to get that two line synopsis right. Sometimes it is because they have tried so hard to hide the plot, the description bares little resemblance to the film. Sometimes it is because the person writing the description has a warped sense of humour, is dripping with sarcasm or is just plain oblivious to what the film is actually about. In this article, we look at 10 of the weirdest, wackiest, funniest, most awkward TV guide descriptions of classic movies - or at least movies that audiences will mostly be familiar with. All of them are real, though reading some of these summaries you will be hard pressed to believe it. So sit back, relax and look at some of your favourite movies in a brand new light; because whoever was writing these descriptions certainly weren't watching the same films as everyone else...
Contributor
Contributor

A writer for Whatculture since May 2013, I also write for TheRichest.com and am the TV editor and writer for Thedigitalfix.com . I wrote two plays for the Greater Manchester Horror Fringe in 2013, the first an adaption of Simon Clark's 'Swallowing A Dirty Seed' and my own original sci-fi horror play 'Centurion', which had an 8/10* review from Starburst magazine! (http://www.starburstmagazine.com/reviews/eventsupcoming-genre-events/6960-event-review-centurion) I also wrote an episode for online comedy series Supermarket Matters in 2012. I aim to achieve my goal for writing for television (and get my novels published) but in the meantime I'll continue to write about those TV shows I love! Follow me on Twitter @BazGreenland and like my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/BazGreenlandWriter