6. If You Can't Make the CGI look real for REAL THINGS, why did you leave it there?
There's a big difference between this: And this.... As, er, contentious as George Lucas' creations in Star Wars prequels may be, they nonetheless fulfill a requirement that only CGI or extensive latex, remote control or makeup can deliver on: They are non-human creations that are difficult to visualize without special effects. The CGI is kinda justified. (The humour is another matter entierly however....) The deer in "Ring 2", though..... well, most people know what deer look like. And another article on this site already even pointed out how ridiculously fake the CGI deer look. It's appalling that this made it into this movie, because unlike an impossible thing you may never see, deer are pretty common and pretty obvious when they aren't real. It's the same with this - I'm not letting Lucas entirely off the hook.... The very minute that it became impossible to make Han Solo look natural stepping over/on Jabba's tail should've been the moment they either excised the scene or cut away to Boba Fett wondering why he's in this movie now. (Admit it, a cutaway would've made the scene a lot more bearable.) As most know, the Jabba shot in the 1970's was a man, NOT a slug. There was no intention to make him one before the scene was cut. This CGI was fighting an uphill battle and lost big on making what was originally Han circling a human Jabba into Han unnaturally shifting up and over Jabba. (For those who somehow avoided this scene, it's like he jumps in Flash animation) Yes, Jabba's not real. But Harrison Ford is, and HIS motion is the most unreal thing in a shot with a GIANT TALKING SLUG. Other movies just admit that rewrites or revisions have to happen when their special effect doesn't pan out. Sometimes, it's a blessing - The whole mess with Jabba the Hutt is proof from the very beginning. Jabba being cut from "A New Hope" meant he was never seen until "Return of the Jedi" when Lucas COULD afford a giant slug with a fetish for bellydancers in bikinis. He's one of the most arresting visuals of "Jedi" - If the scene had been left in, we'd've hung out with this guy in the first half of Episode VI: Put simply, if you can't make your movie's effects look real, don't leave them there for us to laugh at them. Write a new scene. Improvise and show less. Beef up another scene and use the resources you've freed up to make it better. CGI can look VERY good now. If it doesn't then trust me - It's not worth the unintentional laughs you'll give us.
In a parallel universe where game shows' final jackpots and consequent fortunes depend on knowledge of obscure music trivia and Jon Pertwee/Tom Baker Doctor Who episodes, I've probably gone rich, insane, and am now a powermad despot. But happily we're not there, so I'm actually rather pleasant. Really.
