8. James Bond
How To Survive: Don't have sex with James Bond (if you're a woman), and don't ever talk to him in person (if you're a man). Women who sleep with James Bond don't have a particularly strong track record as far as survival goes, though this is in part because they often tend to be assistants to the villain (who then finds out about their duplicity and has them killed). Take the Bond girls from the last three Bond films - Eva Green's Vesper Lynd ended up drowning, Gemma Arterton's femme was drowned with motor oil, and Berenice Marlohe was shot in the head by Raoul Silva. Hell, even M died in Skyfall; the only major female character to make it out alive was Naomi Harris' Moneypenny, and though the sexual tension was clearly there, she never gave herself to Bond, and survived as a result. Even Bond's male buddies don't have a fantastic track record; Mathis bit the bullet in Quantum of Solace, and his buddy Felix Leiter seemingly realised the danger he was in, so didn't even bother making an appearance in Skyfall. Whether you're the janitor who fixes the toilets at MI6 or another field agent, it's best to just keep clear of the man wherever possible.