8. Caligula (1979)
Full on outrageous debauched sex fest, strangely featuring decent actors and directed by Italian Pope of Naughtiness - Tinto Brass. Absolutely hilarious to think that this movie was scripted by Gore "I had nothing to do with it!" Vidal and starred such acting luminaries as Malcolm McDowell, John Gielgud and Helen Mirren. Caligula deals with the rise to power of the titular Roman Emperor, who is as crazy as a box of frogs and pretty thuggish to go with it, and his subsequent decline. Caligula is a fabulous historical figure to have fun with. John Hurt's portrayal of Caligula in the magnificent, epic BBC television series I, Claudius was so malignant to this day I cannot watch anything with John Hurt in it because I get flashbacks to him as Caligula and I feel ill. Malcolm McDowell cannot quite reach these repellant heights but he does his best. The film is more odd than erotic. You may find yourself watching a censored version and wonder "What the heck was all the fuss about?" or you may end up with the unrated version in which case you will sit back in horror as a man is slowly stabbed to death, a woman urinates on his corpse and his genitals are cut off and thrown to the dogs. Nevertheless polymorphous perverts like me who just enjoy bizarre sexual stuff happening on the screen just for the sheer hell of it - or for what I call the snigger factor (you can chuckle at it like a naughty schoolboy) - will massively enjoy Caligula for its sexual weirdness. All perversions catered to! That's a Clare Simpson promise.