By now everybody is probably aware of fan fiction’s most famous export 50 Shades of Grey which started out life as a Twilight fan fiction before somehow getting published and becoming the soft porn du jour of bored housewives the world over.
But if you thought E. L. James’ spank-fest was racy, you really haven’t read much fan fiction, a lot of which quite frankly makes 50 Shades of Grey seem like a Disney movie. Which is ironic really, because Disney fan fictions are exactly what we’ll be delving into here.
Yes, Disney. Even the purest of topics, the stuff your childhood dreams were made of, aren’t safe from the corrupting influence of fan fiction. Given their innocence and happily ever after endings, you might assume Disney would be immune. But you’d be wrong.
There’s a smorgasbord of smutty Disney retellings out there on the internet ready to wreck any semblance of childhood innocence you may have left. To be fair not ALL of them are smutty – some are weird in entirely different ways – but the vast majority are indeed quite smutty.
A lot of NSFW, possibly NSFL stuff is about to come your way including but by no means limited to eightsomes, beheadings and sex scenes of a mechanical nature. You have been warned.
10. The Western Front
A smutty period drama starring Cars’ World War II veteran
Sarge, The Western Front takes us back to his youth as a soldier on the front
lines. In the midst of the Battle of the Bulge, which was presumably chosen as the setting because of the sexual connotations of the world ‘bulge’,
the story sees Sarge surreptitiously meet up with his secret lover – a Sikorsky
R-4 helicopter named Robert.
Their tryst begins in a moonlit clearing in the forests of the Ardennes where the pair share a heart-rending moment silently musing over the horrors of wartime they’re both endured while nestled in each other’s arms. Or blades and tires because helicopters and cars don’t have arms.
Of course, this is smutty fan fiction and before long the plot abruptly veers into some hot and hardcore helicopter on jeep action as the unlikely pair go at it with all the fervency of two lovers who know this could very well be their last tryst before dying on the front lines.
When you look at it that way it’s kind of romantic … kind of.
Choice Quote: “William bit his bottom bumper to stifle a gasp as Rob's tongue started to lap at his backside. He responded eagerly, though silently, and raised his back end for Rob's convenience. It had been nearly a month since they had last seen one another. Every second here was precious.”