10 Dumbest Decisions In The Fast And Furious Saga

Fast, furious and running on the fumes of few hundred brain cells. Too soon, junior!

The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
Universal Pictures

By popular acknowledgement, it has been many years since the Fast & The Furious franchise has been about street racing and, well, cars. But that hasn't stopped it chugging on regardless, oh no.

Taking a leaf out of the Mission Impossible playbook, or vice versa (a chicken and egg problem for the ages), the series has spent the past decade going full throttle.

Gone are the days of punching the Nos down the backstreets, and here to stay are increasingly ridiculous 'missions' involving scenarios and situations the SAS would baulk at; pornographic, high-saturation vistas of foreign territories; several gallons of Rock-scented baby oil; and this.

As one could only expect from such a batshit arrangement, there have been plenty of bad decisions along the way, whether that means repeatedly taking the lives of loved ones in your hands, teaming up with your nemeses, or simply defying gravity (and all known laws of physics).

So, before you get out there and devour F9 like a Dom-driven Dodge Charger devours petrol, rubber and quarter-miles, feast your eyes on some of the stupidest decisions the Family have ever made. And remember, even if there aren't consequences to these decisions - and there so rarely are in the Fast & Furious universe - that doesn't make them any less dumb.

10. Tej Raises The Bridge

2 Fast 2 Furious (2003) is the second film (surprising, we know) in the series and the one that set a dangerous precedent concerning the 'creativity' of the Fast franchise's titles. It is also the first not to feature Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) and his LA gang, so in many respects it can be considered a Brian O'Conner (Paul Walker) spin-off.

Nonetheless, this is the film that brought in a couple of other characters who would go on to become series regulars and something of a double-act: Roman Pearce (Tyrese Gibson) and Tej Parker (Ludacris).

And it is race organiser and garage owner Tej who is awarded the first of our dumbest decisions, for raising a bridge during a high-speed Miami street race.

Tej injects some extra excitement into the final moments of the opening race between Brian and some of the local underground talent, giving orders to raise the bascule bridge before the finish line, creating a makeshift ramp for the racers to hit.

As a mechanic, Tej should understand the implications of such a jump: wreck the axle, land nose-down, rupture the engine and go up in a ball of fire - you name it. In fact, it is only thanks to Brian's Nissan's thick coat of plot armour that he doesn't suffer such a fate.


Writer, editor and lifelong critic of test screenings, money men and films-by-committee.