10 Dumbest Things In Star Trek: Section 31 (2025)

As we now know, Section 31 was planned as an ongoing series. The pandemic, combined with Michelle Yeoh's Oscar Win for Everything, Everywhere, All At Once put paid to that plan. The story was then condensed into a film - only, was it?

There are three distinct chapters - One Night At The Baram, The Godsend, and The Passageway, followed by a coda: Three Of Your Earth Weeks Later. These chapter headings are accompanied by obvious shifts in the story - in effect, we still receive episodes within this film.

When given several years to rework a series into a film, why didn't Section 31 do just that? Rather than feel like a cohesive movie, these chapter headings are clear reminders that the audience was once promised separate episodes to explore the story. By keeping these headings in place, they serve only to highlight the script's lack of motion picture credentials. 

A handy pause point they may be, but that doesn't save them from being a dumb addition to the film. 

There's something striking about a black and white outfit, so much so that fashion houses have included the bold pairing for time beyond measure. It's so chic, so in, so now! In Section 31, it's so thoughtless, so uninspired, so bland.

Now, this is less about the outfit choice, and all about the alien choice. Why are we including a resident from the planet Cheron here? Delighted as one may be to find a survivor from the bloody civil war that ruined so much of their world, one may find themselves a little more confused when one stops to think about it.

Cheron had been a dead planet for thousands of years by the time Bele and Lokai returned in Let That Be Your Last Battlefield. For another survivor to simply pop up barely sixty years later, serving as a valet aboard a criminal space station all seems a bit...convenient? Something that bears mention? 

The entire ending of The Original Series episode hinges on the power of Spock's words:

All dead.

Seems they should have added an asterisk or two there. 

If there's one certainty in Star Trek, it's that your super amazing future technology is going to break at exactly the moment you need it the most. So to is true of the phasing trinket that Georgiou uses to evade Dada Noe. It works a treat until a mysterious stranger turns up using the exact same tech - bit of a coincidence there.

Note: Georgiou had just highlighted that this was an unusual boon to have in her possession. So for San to have his own seems...unlikely. 

They proceed to knock each other about for a bit, though of course, it is only Georgiou's doodad that starts to fritz. As she chases her quarry through solid walls, her foot gets stuck, causing her to trip and remain down just long enough to see San take the Godsend (more on that coming) away.

If her foot phased with the wall, wouldn't it be crushed ala In Theory and that poor officer in the floor? Doesn't it all seem a bit...handy, rather than footsie? 

Isn't it all a little... ?

The big magical Macguffin in Section 31 is the Godsend, a super weapon, commissioned by Emperor Georgiou in the Mirror Universe, that has the power to wipe out entire quadrants. 

Ok, that sounds like a pretty standard piece of Terran tech, to be fair.

However, the Emperor ordered it destroyed. Rather than complying, a very not-dead San orchestrated a series of events that brought it into his possession to do...what, exactly?

His hopes - travel to the Prime universe, kill everyone, take some resources - are as half-baked as the Godsend itself. First - this thing is like a virus that can hop from planet to planet. Does it target only organic material? How does it differentiate between human and animal life? That's not even to begin discussing whether it can differentiate between humans and other alien species. Does it leave plant life alone? 

If San planned to strip the Prime universe of its resources to refuel the Terran Empire, then how could he ever be assured of the weapon's limitations? Was he just going to chuck a live grenade into a pile of people and hope it doesn't hurt anyone?

Speaking of San...

San is a thinly written character, one who serves more as a plot-along than an actual villain. While he may be the one responsible for bringing the team to their eventual battleground, he was clearly steeling himself for a sword fight with Georgiou. 

The evidence? Georgiou's sword, presumably the one that burnt half of his face, is displayed prominently on the bridge of his ship. Checkov called it: don't bring a gun on stage if you don't intend to fire it. That sword was always going to be part of the climax.

Except, why? San was quite obviously at a disadvantage against Georgiou, even if we are to believe that he was capable of her level of machinations. He may have been introduced as one of the last two survivors in The Hunger Games: Terran Edition, but he had refused to deal a fatal blow to his family (thus dealing a fatal blow to his family). Did he then spend his years training with a sword to enact his revenge on Georgiou?

If vengeance was always his plan, did he account for her travelling to the Prime universe, travelling forward in time, then back in time, then somehow losing her sword-fighting skills?

By the time they face off, the audience was hoping she'd just make it a quick death and save him the pain. 

The Baraam is enormous. That's not a bad thing - provided there are transporters on board. Imagine, if you will, waking up late for a shift one day in Georgiou's bar. Now try imagining that same morning if you lived on the outermost ring, there was no transporter, and you had to run to tend bar.

It's hardly the worst design that's ever appeared in Star Trek, though one wonders the efficacy of a space station, shaped like a big brooch, populated entirely by criminals, thieves, and conmen - with its own warp engines to boot. 

It's conspicuous, to be blunt. Section 31 found it without much hassle, as did San, and a whole bunch of ne'er do-wells. Considering the station is shown flying away at the end of the film, along with the host of ships surrounding it, why exactly does it need to be a station at all? 

The film seemed to look at Federation HQ from Star Trek: Discovery and decide 'Ah yes, more of that please.' 

Quasi is the second Chameloid, that we know of, to ever appear in Star Trek. Iman portrayed Martia in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, showing off her morphing talents to great effect. With Quasi, there was an opportunity to meet a Chameloid who could help widen the established lore for these mysterious beings.

Instead, we got a 'your momma' joke.

Sam Richardson does well with the material given to him, and we are told had fun with improvisation on set, but Quasi's Chameloid status seems almost meaningless in the grand scheme of things. In a film that seemed intent on playing up the espionage elements of its story, it would have made sense to utilise the one member of the team who can be anyone. 

There is one imagined scene in which Michelle Yeoh plays Quasi-playing-Georgiou and another where Omari Hardwick plays Quasi-plying-Alok. Other than that, he turns into a giant starfish. 

And that's all.

Bringing back a rarely seen or spoken of alien? Smart.

Failing to use them in any really significant way? Dumb.

There's a fine line that has to be walked when one includes contemporary dialogue in a period-specific script. When one is writing about the past, one is locked into the speech patterns of the time (with an exhaustive list of exceptions, we know!)

When one is writing about the future, there is far more freedom in what the writer can do. However, including very contemporary language is...hazardous. In Section 31, some moments of dialogue jump off the page, through the screen, and belt the viewer around the head. 

'Mecha Boom Boom.''Chaos is my friends with benefits.''Your momma IV.'

Oh dear. 

Including comedic lines is nothing new to Star Trek, nor should the franchise ever actively avoid comedy in general. There are many examples of how the long-running property has melded comedy and the contemporary, yet still maintained that feeling of timelessness. 

Section 31 does its utmost to lock the dialogue, and therefore the events of the film, in the early 2020s - battering the audience with colloquialisms that seem far more concerned with sounding 'hip' than eliciting a genuine laugh. Comedy has every place in the future. Can the same be said for some of the ultra-generationally specific references?

Star Trek has often relied on a shock death to pack a punch. Discovery considers a day without three deaths a dull affair (much like a Dothraki wedding then) but there is a balance that needs to be struck before bumping off the supporting cast.

Consider the slew of red shirts that have met the Great Bird Of The Galaxy throughout the years - they were never meant to be much more than disposable stake-lifters. For the most part, they do their job well, and we salute them.

Melle's death is a frustrating affair. Why on Earth would the script bring back a Deltan, show them fully in control of their powers and ready to use them to aid the mission, and then vaporise her so aggressively early? 

Zeph was a chance to dive into the muscle of the group, and explore what made him tick - and what led to his mechanical mass - and instead, there is a horrific scene of the suit turning against him. 

Both deaths were meant to shock the audience, though both just felt like a quota for deaths had to be met, and they picked the short straws. Gratuitous death is nothing new in the franchise but there is a lot to be said for a smart use of death, rather than a dumb decision to thin the numbers. 

Setting the film in the Lost Era was, initially, a stroke of genius. This largely unexplored period of Star Trek's history was an open season for adventures and mishaps, with just enough historical events of note to help shape the scene.

Except for Rachael Garrett, there is nothing in Section 31 to tie the action to the time in which it's set. Therein lies two issues, the first being the seemingly cavalier choice of time. Interviews with the producers have suggested the era was chosen to free the action up from affecting too much around it - which at least makes sense.

However, Garrett's inclusion encourages the audience to think of Enterprises, be they today or yesterday. If one can put that aside, one then has to wonder: just how the hell is San there, and looking so young?

The film, set in 2323, would be roughly 120 years after his birth. Georgiou travelled to this time via Carl aka The Guardian Of Forever, which explains her youth. Even if we allow for a greater endurance to ageing in the Mirror Universe, San looks good for his age.

The technology of the time seems a bit of a mix, though one can see that care was taken in some of the LCAR displays to match the passage of time. 

When combined with the context of Discovery, The Original Series, and The Next Generation to follow, one must conclude that Section 31 stands out in this time like a sore thumb. 

The decision to keep it separate from the action in the shows around it was a smart one. Locking it into a specific era with so many established happenings was truthfully - pretty dumb.