Every once in a while, when the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars, I like to play a quick game of Who Would Win in a Fight? The rules are simple: two film characters get in a fight. You have to decide, using reason and pop culture knowledge, which one would emerge the victor. Basically it's like Celebrity Deathmatch with better impressions and little to no claymation. It's not an endeavor to be undertaken lightly, however. There are consequences for your decisions. Like...things. So without further ado, here are ten fantasy face-offs I think I speak for everyone when I say are way overdue.
10. Han Solo vs. James Tiberius Kirk
Two scrappy pilots who throw the space manual out the window whenever they disagree with it. One has a pet Wookiee, the other has a pet Vulcan. One with a smuggling ship that's currently being held together with duct tape and a prayer, the other has a state of the art starship complete with full personnel. Who comes out on top? Well, here's the thing. As much as Kirk personally likes to be the rebel bad boy, the fact that he is captain of the Enterprise puts him at a disadvantage against Solo. He's got a lot of people he's looking out for, and he just can't risk their lives to take the kind of chances that Han Solo can with the Millennium Falcon. Solo can pull gutsy moves with the help of his Jedi lady friend and her brother, while all Kirk's BFF provides is a cold hard dose of logic...exactly the opposite of what you want when you're facing off with a Solo. Who Would Win: Han Solo's going to pull away with this one -- sometimes a fast ship and a small crew can prevail against the power and might of The Man. Although Kirk wins at posing...I'll give him that.
Audrey Fox is an ex-film student, which means that she prefers to spend her days in the dark, watching movies and pondering the director's use of diegetic sound. She currently works as an entertainment writer, joyfully rambling about all things film and television related. Add her on Twitter at @audonamission and check out her film blog at 1001moviesandbeyond.com.