7. Mercutio - Romeo and Juliet
While we're on the subject of Shakespeare, there's something I really need to get off my chest. I think we can all agree that Romeo really sucks. He's a fickle little punk who falls in love at the drop of a hat, and if things in the play hadn't escalated so quickly, Juliet would have been right next to Rosalind as another notch in his belt. Romeo's friends, without exception, are much better than him. Much, much better. Especially Mercutio. He's got a great sense of humor and is always the one trying to get Romeo to stop being such a melodramatic toolbox. He's also one of the few characters in the play who isn't related to either the Montague or Capulet families, which gives his friendship with Romeo an added layer of depth. When he *spoiler alert* dies, he famously cries "a plague on both your houses", which is pretty much Shakespearean for "Ugh I'm not even technically involved in this how am I the one who dies thanks a lot guys." He also gets the Queen Mab speech which, although not the most-quoted bit from this play, is clearly awesome and shows how ridiculous he finds the people around him. I'll drink to that, brother.