10 Films That Made Audiences Dumber

The next time you shout at someone who complains that human beings are getting dumber, have a think on this: between the years 1976 and 1996, our culture included punk rock, Star Wars, Alien, Die Hard and Nirvana.

Between the years 1996 and 2016, our idea of culture included The Spice Girls, The Phantom Menace, Alien Vs Predator: Requiem, A Good Day To Die Hard and Justin Bieber. We gave 11 Oscars to Titanic, told Johnny Depp he could do no wrong playing Captain Jack Sparrow and turned Transformers into a multi-billion dollar franchise.

As a former reality TV star prepares to enter the White House, we must appear to alien visitors like the dinosaurs at the beginning of Armageddon, merrily obsessed by everyday trivialities and unconcerned by that flaming ball in the sky.

When these visitors look back over our culture, desperate for some clue as to how we became extinct, they will conclude that the movies released between 1996 and 2016 were deliberately terrible in order to soften up the masses and make them accept the idea of President Donald Trump. Who subsequently began World War Terminus after being insulted on Twitter.

Here, then, are the 10 films whose only purpose was to lower standards and dull sensations ahead of a full takeover by a pumpkin monster with tiny hands.

I know, I know – everybody loves I, Robot and everybody loves Will Smith, especially when he’s running around saying funny stuff in a sci-fi movie.

But consider this: the very best sci-fi uses the future to comment upon the present but I, Robot is content to use the future as an opportunity for product placement.

In the first three minutes, we get gratuitous plugs for JVC, FedEx and “Converse All Stars, vintage 2004”. That’s how it goes for the rest of the film, with particular attention paid to Audi, whose fine automobiles will be the only vehicles gracing American roads in 2035.

Nominated for a special effects Oscar, generally well received by critics and a box office hit to boot, I Robot remains the gold standard of glorified adverts that hoodwinked audiences into believing they were actual movies. The film has nothing at its core except a “message” to buy more stuff so the next time you see a computer generated character standing in front of a billboard, feel free to curse this movie.