10 Films All Hypochondriacs Should Avoid

You'll never want to leave the house again.

Do you spend a lot of your time convinced that a common cold is going to be the end of you? Or that shaking hands with a stranger is going to infect you with an some catastrophic disease? Do you avoid taking underground trains because you're certain that the germs lingering menacingly on every seat and rail are going to seep into your skin and make you keel over before you make it home? Congratulations, you're a Grade A hypochondriac and it's pretty much guaranteed that you've got tons of hand sanitiser and pain killers in your bathroom cabinet. And that you're browser history and bookmarks bar are both bursting with medical sites where you spend your days diagnosing the slightest sniffle as Inner Himalayan Black Lung Disease. With your delicate constitution in mind, you really have to consider how best to entertain yourself. Just as surely as you're unlikely to spend your time surrounded by patient zero candidates (everyone, basically) or anywhere you could possibly pick up an infection (wherever kids are), you need to moderate what films you watch. Because the last thing you need is to to escalate your condition and make leaving the house entirely impossible. So heed this warning: next time you're browsing Netflix, it's probably best you avoid these little monstrosities...

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I love Stephen King and music festivals; I eat my toast upside down; I daydream about getting married probably a bit too much; and I wish every day for a pet sausage dog puppy (who never materialises – sob).