2. Alien 3 (1992)
Blimey, the future really is a miserable place to be a criminal isn't it? Frankly it should be all prison guards with jetpacs and robotic laser guard dogs, rather than the grim reality that film presents. Alien 3 takes the miserable future to the logical conclusion, with a planet just for prisoners. Cold, uninviting, perpetually gloomy, twinned with Butlins, Fiorina 'Fury' 161 is the backside of the universe. Plus it's populated entirely by men so mental that Jeremy Kyle would reject them from appearing on his show for being 'a bit too volatile'. Unlucky inmates (including two stars from Withnail and I, that always makes me laugh) get their head shaved and a barcode on their bonce. It always leave me wondering - if you scanned your head at the self-service till in Tesco, would that voice say "unexpected convict in bagging area"? And, as a special bonus, prisoners also get an acid-filled alien running around taking chomps out of them like a demented Pacman at an all-you-can-eat powerpill buffet. Don't worry of course, because in the event of emergency a rescue team will be sent. Sadly, they do tend to rescue you using bullets. So remember, if you find yourself in the far future - try to behave, eh?