10 Happy Endings To Improve Depressing Movies

"I told you this ship would never sink."

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New Line Cinema

If you're after a raft of critical acclaim, closing your movie with the line, "And they all lived happily ever after..." probably isn't a wise choice.

With the possible exception of one about a generous back-alley massage parlour, movies featuring a happy ending tend to see their tomatoes more rotten than ripe. For many a cynical critic, sending cinema-goers home with a smile on their face seems just that little bit desperate - not to mention unrealistic. Anyone who has lived for more than a week knows what an unremitting squall of sh*t life can be, so everything working out just right doesn't ring true.

That said, movies with uplifting endings tend to result in empty mantelpieces, but not empty coffers. The reviewers' thumbs might point down, but the hoi polloi laps them up. No one likes paying money to be made unhappy, after all.

So why don't all films end on a high? Sure, Titanic made billions despite the sinking feeling it caused, but just think how much better - and how much more it'd have grossed - had everything ended swimmingly?

Critics be damned: tissues are expensive

10. My Girl

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Columbia Pictures

What Actually Happens

In sentimental coming-of-age drama My Girl, 11-year old Vada Sultenfuss confronts the realities of growing up as a girl: blossoming attraction, pubescent 'haemorrhaging', and a best friend being literally stung to death by bees. A devastated Vada breaks down at her pal's funeral, noting he can't see without his glasses, as our vision becomes equally blurry thanks to the welling tears.

What Should Happen

Macauley Culkin waltzes into the woods to find Vada's missing mood ring in full beekeeper's regalia, a wise precaution given he's "allergic to everything." The triumphant hero returns the missing gewgaw to his adolescent belle, as well as a big pot of honey.

They share another heartwarming, innocent kiss, and the execrable My Girl 2 never happens.

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Editorial Team
Editorial Team

Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know). He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.