10 Hilariously Unthreatening Movie Villains

Who's afraid of the big, bad wolves? Well, these ones... maybe not so much.

Justin Hammer
Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures

What makes a great movie villain? Is it the evil plan? Thanos planned to decimate half of the universe with a click of his fingers. Is it the gimmick? Jigsaw's grisly death traps, for example. Or is it the visuals? Like the Joker's scares and make-up, or Darth Maul's facial tattoos. Or - on a more primal level - just about sheer size?

As this suggests, there's no single tangible thing which makes a truly great villain. Whether they be suave, sophisticated Bond villains, gigantic purple aliens, incredible hulks, or dapper comic book villains, the only thing the great movie bad guys have in common is a threatening aura; a palpable sense of menace.

That's not always the case, though. Sometimes, that je ne sais quoi isn't there. Whether it's intentional on the filmmakers' part (see Spaceballs' Dark Helmet) or accidental (almost anything starring John Travolta as the bad guy), sometimes the villain of the piece simply isn't scary at all. Maybe even you could take him in a fight.

Here we take a look at some of the most ludicrous bad guys in movie history - a collection of ten would-be supervillains who, either by fault or design, wound up being laughably unthreatening. Which isn't to say that they couldn't mess you up all the same. Never judge a book by its cover, as they say.

10. Justin Hammer - Iron Man 2

Justin Hammer
Marvel Studios

Tony Stark has come a long way since the early days of the MCU. And we don't just mean that he died. Initially facing off with mad scientists, spurned colleagues and billionaires, after joining the Avengers, Iron Man would go on to fight aliens, gods, megalomaniac AI and, finally, Thanos.

But first: Justin Hammer. This rival entrepreneur is the co-antagonist of Iron Man 2, fighting alongside Mickey Rourke's Whiplash to take down Iron Man and produce his own rival suit of armor. Needless to say: it doesn't go well.

This is no Thanos, Ultron or Mandarin-level threat: he's not even an Obidiah Stane. The only thing Justin Hammer has going for him is a brilliant performance from Sam Rockwell - rocking some classy specs and a nifty collection of waistcoats. He doesn't even get his own suit of armor. Thankfully, the film has a real physical threat in Whiplash, meaning that there's no real need to take Hammer all that seriously anyhow.

 
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Contributor
Contributor

A film critic and professional writer of over ten years, Joel Harley has a deep and abiding love of all things horror, Batman and Nicolas Cage. He can be found writing online and in print, all over the Internet and in especially good bookstores.