No list of unnecessary remakes is complete without The Wicker Man, which courtesy of its leading mans histrionics has a shot at being the funniest bad movie of the last decade. Whether dropping the F-bomb in front of small children, stealing a teachers bicycle at gunpoint or knocking out a woman while dressed as a bear (dont ask), Nicolas Cage is the whole show here and his over-the-top-and-through-the-woods shenanigans elevate an otherwise uninteresting failure to Bad Movie Heaven. In order to convey his characters frustration, Nic shouts his lines, says everything three times and, when the going gets weird, eventually resorts to Kung-Fu. According to director Neil Labuttes commentary, the star demanded daily rewrites so that his character would be more believable, martial arts apparently being common among motorcycle cops. Had the movie been played for intentional laughs, with our indomitable hero investigating weird goings on at the settlement depicted in The Village (2004), Nic wouldve been in his element. He couldve overplayed to his hearts content, worn an ostrich costume and joked about partying like its 1899. Come the big finale, he fights Bryce Dallas Howards blind samurai warrior and punches out M Night Shyamalan. He still gets barbecued, though. They were running low on roast ham.
Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'
