3. Piranha 3D (2010)
In common with her day job, porn star Riley Steele isnt required to act or say anything in Piranha 3D, just wander around in a bikini and go skinny dipping, and if her presence doesnt make clear the films attitude towards women, then constant shouts of naked bitches will remind you. The films attitude to its audience can be deduced from the fact that this remake of a Jaws rip-off was French filmmaker Alexandre Ajas third redux, brought to the screen by Dimension Films, who also remade Black Christmas, Pulse and Halloween. Calling it shallow, pointless and casually sexist is to risk one of those It wasnt supposed to be Hamlet arguments, which begs the question.what was it supposed to be? Because if you were thinking Guilty Pleasure, bad news Roger Corman did it better, thirty years earlier, with Humanoids From The Deep. Excising the wit and film buff in jokes of Joe Dantes original, Piranha 3D plays like Humanoids third act stretched to feature length, only with porn stars and wet t-shirt contests. Which is fine for a while, but when you realize it has nothing else to offer and theres another hour left, the film creeps around guiltily, like an old man in a raincoat.
Ian Watson
Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'
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