10 James Bond Fates Worse Than Death

Death would surely be a favour for these hapless Bond characters.

Spectre Drill Torture
Sony Pictures Releasing

The James Bond series is rife with death of every variety. We've seen villains and henchmen dispatched with gigantic drills, explosive decompression and even an expanding bullet.

However, as painful as these ends may be, they do at least have an end. What of those instances where death is not the final outcome? Throughout the franchise, characters both good and bad have been met with fates that make a huge sea-drill to the face feel like a luxury, whether they result in a lifetime of physical suffering or imply a psychological impact that will extend far beyond what we're shown on screen. Be it physical impairments, devastating PTSD or a slow deterioration of soul, mind and body, the series certainly doesn't let its characters out unscathed.

While some of the misfortunes brought up in this rather grim list are indeed eventually brought to an end through what could be seen as a mercy kill, some characters aren't so lucky in how they will be spending the rest of their days.

Spare a thought for the woes of the following unfortunates, who might well rather have seen their brains splattered over a big pile of dirty cash.

10. Imprisonment In A Lobster Pot - Nick Nack (The Man With The Golden Gun)

Spectre Drill Torture
United Artists

Francisco Scaramanga's diminutive butler-cum-enforcer Nick Nack leads a miserable existence, doesn't he? With his role in Scaramanga's antics involving such humiliations as posing as a tiny statue and being sprayed with champagne for the petty amusement of his boss, it's no wonder that as the sole heir to Scaramanga's vast fortune and estate, he spends the film lining up assassins to take out his three-nippled employer.

As the film culminates, Bond outsmarts Scaramanga in his own funhouse, killing him and seemingly leaving Nick Nack with the inheritance he so craves. However, a string of absurd goofs at the hands of least-believable-MI6-officer-ever Mary Goodnight results in the destruction of the island and presumably the majority of Nick Nack's fortune.

Escaping on Scaramanga's luxury junk, Bond and Goodnight are predictably interrupted mid-coitus by an aggrieved and vengeful Nick Nack, who Bond then engages in one of the franchise's most embarrassing, laughable fight scenes. Trapping Nick Nack in a suitcase, Bond drags him to the upper decks as he yells such high-calibre lines as "I may be small but I never forget!" and "Let me go, you big bully!"

The last we see of Nick Nack, he is trapped in a lobster pot atop the junk as it sails towards the mainland. Being prosecuted for his crimes is one thing, but the sneering laughs of the officer who inevitably processed him is entirely another.


Neo-noir enjoyer, lover of the 1990s Lucasarts adventure games and detractor of just about everything else. An insufferable, over-opinionated pillock.