10 Least Romantic Movies Ever Released On Valentine's Day

5. The Fly II

Silence Of The Lambs Anthony Hopkins
20th Century Fox

Nothing says “Happy Valentine’s Day” like a movie that opens with a woman giving birth to what looks like a cooked turkey covered in KY Jelly, but a turkey is what the makers of this sequel to David Cronenberg’s 1986 film knew they had so they wisely kept it away from the summer blockbusters.

The turkey grows up to become Martin Brundle (not, it must be said, the racing driver), son of Seth ‘Brundlefly’ Brundle, and before long he starts turning into a monster just like his old man did. An evil scientist considers Martin to be an important evolutionary breakthrough that will make him the most powerful person on Earth (or something), so even though Martin has a super-genius IQ he goes along with the plot and yadda yadda yadda.

In a movie with no shortage of unintentionally funny moments, the best is the sequence where Martin finds his dog, the victim of a failed experiment, chained up in a secret lab. If you thought the big-screen Scooby Doo looked lame it’s nothing compared to this sucker, who resembles the Tasmanian Devil (from the old Bugs Bunny cartoons) at the end of a decades-long booze-coke-hookers binge.

Contributor

Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'