Mirror mirror on the wall, is there anything Hollywood won’t
remake at all?
Judging from the rebooting of everything from Psycho to Footloose, the answer seems to be a resounding no, but if Hollywood’s recycling of ideas has you reaching for the Tylenol you haven’t seen anything yet. Still to come are the proposed reboots of An American Werewolf In London, The Crow and Masters Of The Universe.
You can see why remakes appeal to risk-averse movie executives: movies like The Hitcher or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles come with a massive potential audience nostalgic for the originals. Hollywood loves nostalgia, although in the case of the Hitcher remake we wished they didn’t love it quite so much.
Singling out ten disappointing remakes is no simple task and for each movie selected there are at least ten that could’ve taken its place so if you disagree with any of the choices remember that everything is subjective and besides, Rob Zombie’s Halloween wasn’t that bad.
Adored by people who’ve never seen the original, this remake of Paul Verhoeven’s 1987 film plays more like an extended pilot episode for a proposed series with all the wit, satire and violence stripped away.
There’s a funny scene in Verhoeven's movie where Ronny Cox’s corporate villain says he had a guaranteed military sale with ED 209 – renovation program, spare parts for 25 years, the works. Then he says, “Who cares if it worked or not?” That’s this movie in a nutshell.
Even a watered down, forgettable Robocop remake has an audience, not to mention franchise potential – who cares if it works or not? Just add some cool effects, throw in a bunch of name actors (something the original didn’t really have) and you’ve got a guaranteed sale.