5. Pinocchio (1940)
I'm sure there are some badasses out there who can sit down to a viewing of
Pinocchio without wanting to throwing in the towel on life, but I'm not one of them. This movie is weird as hell, and I'm going to put that down to more drugs. Pinocchio is touching in places, I guess, but it isn't that funny. The whole concept is sort of terrifying: this totally innocent boy gets used and abused by a never-ending barrage of strangers. No thanks. Though the general tone (as with
Dumbo) is just not right (there's something about that humanoid fox that irks me so), it's "Pleasure Island" which accounts for approximately 70% of childhood mental breakdowns. There's something about all those kids being whisked off to a faraway destination, smoking cigars and acting loutish, only to find themselves transforming into donkeys that is... well, it's just
mental, isn't it?