Product placement is a necessary evil of movie and TV productions. People need money. I understand that as thoroughly as I understand how Subway gives you great, great sandwiches at low, low prices. It's a long-standing institution of narrative production, back when things used to be called "Kraft Singles presents The Six O'Clock News." It was a simpler time, where people blindly bought Kraft Singles because the talking box told them to. Now, we as an audience are a bit jaded to Abraham Lincoln talking about how good their Coca Cola is, so our modern storytellers have been forced to raise their skills as corporate whores to the level of "artist." Here are ten splendid examples of people trying to sell us stuff. Just be glad we never got "Ritz Crackers presents Breaking Bad."
10. Twister - Pepsi Saves Everyone!
Twister is a movie largely forgotten by everyone. It details the lives of people who chase down large tornados and occasionally have awkward Caucasian sex with each other. Now, how might one manage to awkwardly cram products into a movie about swirls of wind famous for making it so that there isn't stuff where there used to be stuff? You make it save the day. At one point in the film, for sciencey reasons I don't even think the people who made the movie understand, the storm chasers need to disperse a bunch of sensors throughout a twister to chart its course or give it a sonogram or something. At what could possibly be used as the flying sensors? Why Pepsi, of course! Hundreds, if not thousands of Pepsi cans, all swirling through a giant and terrifying cone of wind and ultimately saving the lives of everyone. It's the dream of every executive who dreams about sitting atop a giant pile of money earned by people in the Midwest trying to save their trailer parks with soft drinks.
Kevin Lanigan is a fun-loving Sagittarius who enjoys long walks on the beach and sunsets. While running a popular blog called Chekhov's Gunman, Kevin hopes to one day write the best movies and television you can complain about on the Internet. One of those movies, entitled IT DIDN'T TAKE, just opened up on Indiegogo and would appreciate all donations. Rosebud is a sled.