10 Most Underwhelming Summer Movies Of All Time

7. Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines

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Warner Bros.

How did an infiltration unit that can’t be reasoned with and doesn’t feel pity or remorse or fear end up constantly playing off the “I’ll be back” catchphrase and becoming the butt of several crude jokes?

When first introduced in The Terminator, the T-800’s first act was to tear out a guy’s heart, but in Rise Of The Machines, his first act is to enter a bar on “Ladies Night” and steal a male stripper’s clothes, including a pair of Elton John sunglasses. Then there’s Sergeant Candy.

Though cut from the finished film, the two-minute scene tells you all you need to know about the filmmakers’ intentions. Ostensibly a Skynet promo video, it opens with Schwarzenegger speaking like a hick (“Ah wuz honoured tuh be selected in duh effort tuh save American lives”) and when someone says, “I’m not sure about that accent”, another character, who speaks with Arnie’s voice, says, “We can fix it.”

Throw in a female Terminator that can increase her cup size at will and you’ve got the campiest Terminator movie of them all.

Contributor

Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'