4. Johnny Knoxville (Jackass)
I don't think much argument is needed for this one. While anyone in the Jackass crew is undoubtedly hilarious, you just don't want to have to worry about your head getting shaved the second you turn your back. I also search out friends who frown upon displaying their testicles in public areas. Being best friends with him would sorta be like getting that cute tiny dog you always wanted. At first it was an awesome idea, but now it's peeing everywhere and licking your face. I don't ask for a lot in my friends, but I also prefer to associate with people who, when I'm on fire, or bleeding, or screaming, don't simply laugh and film me. Maybe it's just me, but another one of my hot buttons is being repeatedly kicked in the groin for sport. I don't know what it is I just don't love it.