Listen up, buckos. I am not a romantic. I have a heart the same size and appearance as a shrivelled up chickpea found at the back of a dirty hippie's freezer. And yet! And yet. Sometimes, I find myself thinking that if I were to find a man that could put up with my misanthropy and annoying habit of drunkenly impersonating Quint from Jaws at house parties, well then, they would have to be quite the man. As a bookend to the previous article, '10 Movie Characters You Secretly Wish Your Girlfriend Was Like', here is a list of film characters that embody the qualities that I think would be sterling in a Special Man Friend. Agree? Disagree? Just plain confused and/or vaguely disturbed by my choices? After perusing this list, comment away!
10. Obi-Wan Kenobi (Star Wars)
Han was a bit of a jerk. Lando was pretty cute, but he also broke the 'bros before Bo(ba Fett)' rule back in Bespin. And Luke was far too driven with his studies to notice the lay-deez, and the only chick he did sneak a kiss from was... his sister. No, if there was any man in a galaxy far, far away that was potential paramour material, it was Obi-Wan. Ignoring the 'Jedis can't get jiggy with it' rule, Obi-Wan would have been a great Special Man Friend. He outgrew his stupid hair phase (that rat-tail and buzz cut - ugh). He cares for pregnant ladies like Padme, but has no time for precocious, secretly evil brats like Anakin. He has an accent that sounds as warm yet dignified as a coffee with a dash of whiskey. And frankly, I don't care which galaxy you're from, you're amazing if you can grow a beard and still look good. A calm and decent man that mellowed with age but could still kick down the Empire when called upon, Obi-Wan embodied all that Jedis could be, and should be. Plus, that Krayt dragon call would be one heck of a fun party trick.