3. The Devil (The Exorcist)
The Devil is such a downer, man. As are Demons in general. Just a bunch of seriously uncouth individuals who possess kids. Come one Demons, they're children. Do they deserve to be possessed? Poor little Regan MacNeil went through all that stress because the Devil needs an attitude adjustment. Look Demons, are Angels possessing your kids? And if so, is it really that unpleasant? I imagine it'd be nothing but rainbows and glitter and marshmallow peeps. That doesn't sound so bad. So take a breather for a minute. I'm running with the Devil's backstory I always heard as a kid, the one most movies draw from, that the Devil was once an Angel who disagreed with God and was cast out of heaven, taken a slew of like minded angels with him who became his Demons. Long story short, the Devil was once an Angel who needed a hug from God and didn't get one. See how everything is connected here? All the possessions that have ever occurred could have been stopped if only God had hugged the Devil. Not gonna' lie, God dropped the ball on this one folks. Now there's been millions of years worth of
petty debate between the two and it's been such a drag to live our lives in fear that the Devil is going to decide to sublet our kids bodies for a while. I'm pretty sure that's against our leasing agreement. A lot of pain and anguish could have been prevented had the Devil just been wrapped in that tight, Gandalf-y embrace. "You shall not pass!...into Hell until you let me give you a hug." See how easy that is? It's never too late guys. Devil, God? I think it's time to stop all this nonsense and what? That's right, hug it out.