8. Project X
Though Matthew Broderick's association with movies is usually the immediately hallmark of something to avoid at all costs, his 1987 sci-fi thriller with monkeys is infinitely greater than the God-awful party movie of last year. As well as being the name for probably countless secret military operations, and a handful of pornography production companies, Project X is also the name of two bad films. The first is Broderick's 1987 morality tale about the unnecessary scientific persecution of apes (seriously, they are killed to see how dead humans would be in the same circumstances, only repeatedly as if once isn't enough to prove that intense radiation kills living things) and the second is the 2012 comedy. Neither comes with any laughs, though the latter tries its level best by crashing American Pie and The Hangover jokes together at stop speed and without any measure of elegance at all. Cinephiles should probably avoid both, but Broderick's '80s project is enough of a kitsch delight to make it a watchable curio, and in all honesty, next to the 2012 film, it's basically Shakespeare.
Handy Watching Tip If you're watching a film about monkeys being put through unnecessary cruelty, and which seems suspiciously like the mongrel cousin of both Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes and Top Gun, only without the good special effects or the cool factor, you're watching the right film.