10 Movies From 2017 That Deserve Razzie Awards (But Weren't Nominated)

2. Kidnap

Josh Trank Fantastic Four
Aviron Pictures

About as subtle as a blowtorch to the face, Kidnap has no use for minimalism, build-up or suspense. It opens with everything cranked to eleven and keeps it there throughout its slender running time, throwing in some unbelievable plot contrivances, a seemingly indestructible heroine and the kind of logic that even Vin Diesel fans might have a problem with.

When her child is abducted by a hee-hawing redneck couple who look like they’re descended from the cannibal clan in The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, Halle Berry’s waitress character forgets all about being a single mom and turns into Wonder Woman, clinging to speeding vehicles, fighting off assailants and leaving a trail of vehicular destruction in her wake (and all with her hair perfectly intact).

It ends with one of those routine and predictable wrap-ups you get in low-aiming fare like this, by which time credibility hasn’t been thrown to the winds so much as dragged screaming into the street and stomped to death. If you enjoy Halle’s ever-increasing slate of bad movies, this one’s for you.

Contributor

Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'