10 Movies That Pissed You Off Straight Away

8. Rob Zombie Gonna Rob Zombie - Halloween (2007)

Eternals Jolie
Dimension Films

Most Halloween fans were pretty on the fence about the idea of a reboot directed by Rob Zombie, but after the franchise-derailing Halloween: Resurrection, perhaps a fresh vision was exactly what Michael Myers needed, right?

Yet the opening minutes of the 2007 reboot confirmed that Zombie would be indulging all of his worst possible instincts, in a Halloween movie that's totally unlike any other, but rarely for the better.

Where to begin? The film opens with a portentous quote from Dr. Loomis (Malcolm McDowell) about the origins of evil, before delivering a battery of gaudy, tacky affectations sure to leave you shuddering.

The loud rock music and garish opening title font are bad enough, but things truly become unbearable when Michael's (Daeg Faerch) mother Deborah (Sheri Moon Zombie) and her boyfriend Ronnie (William Forsythe) start arguing in the family kitchen.

The dialogue includes zingers such as Ronnie telling Deb, "I will crawl over there and skull-f**k the s**t out of you," and then the charming remark that Deb's daughter Judith (Hanna R. Hall) has "a nice little dumper." Oh, and there's a baby screaming in the middle of all of this.

Sure, the scene is effective in depicting the utterly tawdry home environment that this version of Michael Myers has grown up in, but is it really what anyone wanted to see in a Halloween movie?

It's a headache-inducing opening and so shamelessly vulgar you'll probably want to take a long, hot shower after watching it.

Contributor
Contributor

Stay at home dad who spends as much time teaching his kids the merits of Martin Scorsese as possible (against the missus' wishes). General video game, TV and film nut. Occasional sports fan. Full time loon.