9. GI Joe: Retaliation
Well, its right there in the title isnt it? Watching this movie is likely to make a WHOLE lot of people want to retaliate and itll only start with their local theater. GI Joe was supposed to come out last year but was supposedly so terrible they almost had to cancel the film, in post production. They persevered and re-shot the movie leading up to its recent release and wouldnt you know it, those plucky sons of guns managed to still make a terrible movie. I cant really imagine how bad the original cut was if this was the version deemed good enough to release. Lets count the ways in which various groups of people are likely to lose their minds: film buffs (just kidding, they didnt bother to go see this drivel), women apparently really like Channing Tatum and, yeah, thats not going to go over well. Next and most importantly, we have the North Koreans again. Now we know the population probably didnt see it thanks to them practically being enslaved and all but our good old buddy Kim Jong Un sure did (Im guessing anyway). Why cant we leave the North Koreans alone? Why? Then we have Pakistan. So, just to recap, we went after North Korea and Pakistan in the same movie? Should be okay seeing how theyre such reasonable folks running those countries. I think I just heard something explode.