10 Movies Within Movies Everyone Wanted To See

The Onion Movie may be an incredibly hit-and-miss comedy, but it at least kicks off in fitting fashion with a fake trailer for a new Steven Seagal-starring action flick called Cockpuncher.

The trailer takes the guise of a seemingly conventional martial arts movie, in which a young warrior is brutally beaten by gangsters who repeatedly punch him in the crotch.

The man asks his master to teach him the "ancient technique" in question, at which point a training montage transitions us to 32 years later, where the young martial artist is now a middle-aged man played by Seagal.

Set to a hilariously stereotypical Trailer Guy voice, we're introduced to Seagal's Cockpuncher via an action montage in which he punches an inordinate number of bad guys right in the dick, before quipping, "I don't think you have the balls."

Granted, the time has most certainly come and gone for Seagal - a problematic figure if there ever was one - to actually bring Cockpuncher to fruition, but back in the innocent, halcyon days of 2008, it truly seemed like something martial arts fans actually wanted to see.

It would've been infinitely more entertaining than the generic straight-to-video action slop he's been releasing for the better part of 20 years now, anyway.