10 Movies You Turned Off After The Opening Scene

9. ThanksKilling (2007)

A Serbian Film
Warner Brothers

There are some films that are so bad, they're actually superb. This is not one of them. Made for $3,500 (yes, you read that correctly), ThanksKilling is, at first glance, a comedy horror film. So far, so good, there's a tonne of them but if a filmmaker can't really do either to any degree of satisfaction, then perhaps a new career is in order.

You cannot be told how bad this film is, you have to see it for yourself. If you make it through the first ten minutes, you've already seen approximately a sixth of this film - it comes in at a whopping 70 minutes.

The opening act is set in 1621, at the first Thanksgiving, where a topless local is killed by a demonic turkey brandishing a tomahawk, exclaiming "Nice t*ts b*tch." How the turkey grips the tomahawk, having no opposable thumbs, remains a mystery.

Flash forward a few hundred years and a group of five cliches, erm, sorry, college kids set off home for the season's celebrations with family. The car breaks down and they decide to camp for the night. This is where the legend of Turkie is told, the result of a curse from an indigenous American shaman, out to avenge his people from white invaders.

And thus begins the lunacy. Turkie is reawakened when his 'grave' is desecrated by a urinating dog, much like Freddy's return in Nightmare 4 but without the fire. The hitchhiker scene is good for a giggle but that's about it. Turn it off quickly.


A lifelong aficionado of horror films and Gothic novels with literary delusions of grandeur...