1. Anna Scott - Notting Hill (1999)
The Movie: A down-on-his-luck schmo becomes romantically entangled with the world's biggest movie star, Julia Roberts, and must put up with all her crap for two hours.
The "Perfect" Girlfriend: Anna Scott is that one-in-a-zillion movie star unfazed by the prospect of dating one of the "little people" - and in this case, it's Hugh Grant, playing the very Englishly-named William Thacker. For starers, Anna Scott doesn't take her movie career too seriously, so you can have a ball whilst rehearsing all her upcoming Hollywood flicks, only later for her to let you study her breasts in an attempt to work out "what's so good about them." She also kisses in the first seven minutes of knowing anybody (preferably you're covered in orange juice) which is just cool, isn't it? She's also super-rich and will take you to premieres beneath the veil of an Elvis Costello song. She once uttered the line, "Happiness isn't happiness without a violin-playing goat," which is spectacular.
Why She Would Suck In Real Life: Um, because she's an utter douche. After meeting with his family, going on a dozen dates, and practically forcing him to fall in love with her, Anna Scott puts William Thacker in the awkward position of having to pretend to Alec Baldwin that he's a "just a room service guy." Then she goes back to the States with Baldwin,
who's her boyfriend, by the way, and just, like, calls off the whole thing. As you can imagine, William becomes depressed as a result of this she-Devil's plottings. But this is all forgiven for some reason, and the two are married and Thacker gets to wear a nice tuxedo. Let's not forget, though, that this is the same woman who left a man
abandoned without an explanation,
shouted at him for just being nice, and then came back to make him
feel bad with a line straight from the Richard Curtis handbook:
"I'm just a girl... standing in front of a boy... asking him to love her."
If you could somehow find joy with a person who is willing to say something like that after she left you and lied to you and made you feel bad for taking her in and treating her with respect and putting everything into perspective, then by all means, take Anna Scott. But be sure to sign your "sucky life" disclosure at the same time, because that's what's awaiting you, buddy: a sucky life, where being a good person doesn't matter at all, and everyone's morals are turned upside-down.
Which seemingly perfect movie girlfriends have we missed? Let us know in the comments section below.