10 Promising Horror Movies That Totally Sucked

7. The Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence)

Blair Witch Ending
IFC Midnight

Disappointingly, this “final sequence” has nothing to offer – not the oddly compelling horror of the first installment, nor the scathing satire of the second film.

Not that the expectations for this concluding chapter were particularly high, but if nothing else, Tom Six is a filmmaker with the appeal of an early 70s John Waters – you might not like his outrageous narratives, but you can’t help being curious about them. Instead, it's a case of "move on, there's nothing to see here."

The “plot” concerns a barking mad prison governor who wants to create a 500-person human centipede, but Six has become a satirist of the Uwe Boll school who hits every target with a sledgehammer and thinks that rape gags are funny. Just like Boll in Postal, he even makes a cameo (as “Himself”) in his own movie, but unlike his German counterpart, nobody shoots him in the balls.

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Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'