10 Promising Horror Movies That Totally Sucked
3. Cabin Fever
Eli Roth’s 2002 original is a wild and crazy homage to 70s exploitation cinema (note the use of songs from The Last House On The Left), whose narrative often seemed to go off in several directions at once, packing in horror, comedy, splatter and surrealism. In the right hands, a remake could really be something.
Alas, Cabin Fever 2016 not only fails to bring anything new to the party but it’s so flat and dispiriting that you’ll be convinced you’re watching a cheap knock-off from The Asylum. Characters you couldn’t care less about wander through a narrative that’s been nipped and tucked beyond belief, and in the process the filmmakers have somehow excised whatever charm the original possessed.
Despite working from the same script (with enough changes to make it “contemporary”), the filmmakers have made a movie whose soullessness will numb the unprepared the viewer. The film belongs on the CIA’s list of Harsh Interrogation Techniques, not VOD.