10 Promising Horror Movies That Totally Sucked

2. Cell

Blair Witch Ending
Saban Films

The kind of dour movie that might just put you off Stephen King adaptations for life, Cell reunites John Cusack and Samuel L Jackson but it’s a definite step down from their last collaboration in 1408.

The plot is typical King: when a mysterious cell phone signal transforms the users into bloodthirsty creatures, a group of survivors band together in New England and eventually encounter a villain known as The Raggedy Man.

Unfortunately, neither actor looks at home in the movie, which plays out like a standard-issue cable movie before falling apart altogether in the final 20 minutes. If that doesn’t sound bad enough, be aware that the director is Tod Williams, who gave us Paranormal Activity 2.

Taking itself seriously at every turn, Cell lets its plot unfold without irony or surprises. Eli Roth was reportedly in the running to direct but dropped out due to “creative differences” and it’s not difficult to see why. If ever a movie could’ve used his sense of deranged fun, it’s this one.

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Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'