It was a running joke among Italian exploitation filmmakers in the 70s and 80s that if you wanted to know what your next film was going to be, you only had to look at Hollywoods box office. While Hollywood made The Exorcist, Jaws and Star Wars, Italy made Beyond The Door, Tentacles and Starcrash. Jump forward a few decades and Hollywood appears to be the new Italy, relentlessly ripping off its own back catalogue. The problem is, the Italians did it so much more entertainingly. Its just as well that the makers of the Poltergeist remake kept the title of Tobe Hoopers 1982 film without it, youd have thought you were watching a third-rate knock off of Insidious (2010). Elsewhere, the reboot of The Man From U.N.C.L.E. was just like the TV series a so-so spy caper that didnt have the budget to compete with James Bond. There wasnt much excitement, either, and the movie seemed content to coast on the charm of its leads. In a bad year, they werent even the worst films. The real horrors, from Fantastic Four to Hot Tub Time Machine 2, were still to come, making audiences wonder what theyd done to deserve such treatment. If the following films prove anything, its that Hollywood doesnt want to be your friend.
Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'
