This one's so....odd. The original is by no means a masterpiece, and really stood as a social commentary more than a standout piece of cinema. Women, its WASPy community posited, needed to be basically and literally drones to be the perfect wives. And really, given how overly sexualized and youth oriented popular culture's become since, there really shouldn't have been any trouble giving this a treatment that was equally relevant, scary, or at least good. Frank Oz' remake is so tonally inconsistent it's hard to tell exactly if this was ever a serious film project or adapted from an old "Muppet Show" sketch. The comedy is pitched in such a way as to almost seem unrealistic (A wife at one point dispenses cash like an ATM in a way that seems more appropriate to a Benny Hill segment) but the danger Nicole Kidman's lead acts toward seems akin to her very existence being threatened. Terry Gilliam or David Lynch perhaps could've pulled off a fantastic dark comedy with this; with actors ranging from severe to goofy and moments schizophrencally both serious and oddly silly. But Oz almost seems to have shot a parody version without Kidman's knowledge - Her scenes are played strangely straight. The remainder of the film tonally leaves you with an expectation that any minute Chrisopher Walken, paid in advance I'm sure, will just tap dance his way off-set and say thank you for coming out. It's rumoured that on-set conflict and rewrites torpedoed this one into incoherence, but it's hard to see how the film would've made sense in any of its possible strands. Anyway, the social commentary is pretty much parodied to non-existence and to this film, "mood" is something you measured with a ring in 1972. ARGH: Uh, this film also has a twist that doesn't make sense. Unlike "Planet of the Apes" though, it just convinces you that not only did anyone neglect to think through anything to the end, they also didn't care to. Suffice to say, apparently Matthew Broderick saves his wife's (Kidman) soul and humanity with powers bordering on magic off-screen, and Walken was, er, a robot. Seeing the film doesn't explain any of these anymore adequately than I have here. (Also, WARNING - this involves seeing the film.) IRREPLACEABLE ELEMENT: The original "Stepford Wives" is one thing from beginning to end. It's sad to cite something so basic, but that'd at least have made this remake watchable. (Well, maybe.)
In a parallel universe where game shows' final jackpots and consequent fortunes depend on knowledge of obscure music trivia and Jon Pertwee/Tom Baker Doctor Who episodes, I've probably gone rich, insane, and am now a powermad despot. But happily we're not there, so I'm actually rather pleasant. Really.
