10 Rules To Survive A Horror Movie

Think you've got what it takes to make it out alive? Not until you've read this, you don't.

Tin Hat

One day everything's normal. Perhaps it's a nice weekend and you decide to go camping, or that dusty old loft is finally going to get cleared out, or perhaps you've just moved house into a picturesque village where everyone knows each other's name and you all share baked goods and hold hands. What joys!

The next, however, everything gets turned on its head. The campsite is plagued by a woodland cult intent on sacrificing you to their leafy pagan god, the old loft has been hiding a secret passageway to an ancient room packed with d*ck torture tools, and that nice new village is actually a guise for a cannibal feeding ground. Those sausage rolls lovely Susan gave you? Best not to question the meat.

Finding yourself in the midst of a horror movie happens in the blink of an eye. So best be prepared for every eventuality just in case the worst happens, eh? Dissecting the tropes of the genre results in all sorts of lovely advice that goes a long way to saving your skin - so continue, dear reader, if you want rules to live by. And I mean that quite literally...

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Horror film junkie, burrito connoisseur, and serial cat stroker. WhatCulture's least favourite ginger.