10 Sad Facts About Star Wars You Just Need To Accept

4. You've Been Wrung for Every Penny

Hey, seen the new Star Wars remaster? The remastered remaster; not the original remaster but the new deluxe remaster where all of the Stormtroopers are now Jar-Jar Binks and Leia's gold bikini in Jedi has been replaced with farting Ewoks, in line with Lucas' original vision of course. Lucas must have seen you coming. There are maybe 6 trillion versions of the movie in circulation; toys; books; video games; cartoons; comics; lunchboxes; pez dispensers. And everyone's still opening their wallets, even though the last 3 major entries were a disgusting affront to fans (and to humanity in general). People? You mean sheeple.