10 Film Sequels And Spin-Offs That Should Never Have Happened

3. Superman Returns

superman returns.jpg
Warner Bros.

In Superman Returns, Lex Luthor€™s diabolical masterplan rests on his ability to distract Superman long enough for him and his henchmen to enter the Metropolis Museum Of Natural History, steal a chunk of Kryptonite and make a clean getaway - which he does in about 5 minutes. His method of distraction? Fixing the brakes on Parker Posey€™s car so that she careers out of control.

Now wait a minute: the title of this movie is Superman Returns, not Easily Distracted Man Fumbles The Ball And Almost Allows Metropolis To Be Destroyed As A Result. If the only thing on earth that can destroy you is being displayed in the local museum, and your old nemesis is on the prowl, would that not cause you to connect the dots? Would you not demand tightened security at the museum, just in case? You€™re Superman, you can do that sort of thing.

Instead, Easily Distracted Man is so slow on the uptake that he just bides his time while Luthor kidnaps Lois Lane and €“ get this €“ uses the Kryptonite to grow a new continental landmass in the ocean. Instead of concluding that landing on Kryptonite Island might be injurious to his health and sending in the Marines, this would-be superhero flies to the rescue.and seems surprised when he loses his powers.

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Contributor

Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'