10 Summer Blockbuster Movies That Should Never Have Happened

7. The Lost World: Jurassic Park

I robot
Universal Pictures

You know The Lost World is going to be a gratuitous sequel the moment Richard Attenborough tells Jeff Goldblum about “Site B”, another island that just happens to be home to a menagerie of dinosaurs, and faster than you can say “plot contrivance”, there’s several potential victims poking around the place.

Fortunately for the plot, he has a hitherto-unmentioned girlfriend (Julianne Moore) who’s already there, so when Jeff decides to rescue her, his hitherto-unmentioned daughter decides to stow away, because what’s a Jurassic Park movie without a kid being placed in peril?

The rest of the film is a succession of dinosaur attacks, and its “art” lies in its contrivances. In order to keep the movie from stalling, screenwriter David Koepp (Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull) throws in all manner of nonsense, including a scene where Goldblum’s daughter saves him from a dino by performing gymnastics and a moment where the creepy foreign (Peter Stormare – who else?) wanders off on his own to his doom.

Contributor

Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'