MiramaxHitmen can't catch a break, can they? In movies, hitmen cannot go anywhere without falling victim to one sort of misfortune or another. The blue collar workers of the criminal world, either they are nameless henchmen to be disposed of by a protagonist with ease, or a hapless protagonist who is a minor player in a world that he has no control over. Not every hitman can be Anton Chigurh, after all. Let's face it, one of the reasons we love gangster films is the various roles they find for hitmen - they can be competent businessmen, they can be ruthless sociopaths, or they can be just regular guys doing their jobs. Whether they are incompetent wannabe gangsters or smart schemers, it is far too easy to end up rooting for the henchman to come out on top. It makes perfect sense, given many are put in particularly harrowing situations simply because they make a living being pawns of much more powerful and smart criminals. They are the ultimate gangster underdogs. To celebrate the endurance of hitmen as a staple of the gangster genre, this list explores the hitmen who (often through a particularly unfortunate spot of violence) are so hapless and unlucky that we cannot help but feel sorry for them, no matter how many heinous acts they commit in the name of their job.
Self-evidently a man who writes for the Internet, Robert also writes films, plays, teleplays, and short stories when he's not working on a movie set somewhere. He lives somewhere behind the Hollywood sign.