10 Times Spider-Man Was An A**hole

10. I Regret Everything

This one is a bit of a controversial choice so I thought I€™d include it at the very start. Peter Parker is a young hero and one of his main character traits is that he can be a little selfish at times. Sure, he's going out of his way to save innocents on a daily basis, but you could argue that the whole reason he€™s saving innocents at all is because he has a deeply rooted sense of guilt as karma is a beach and Spider-Man can€™t swim to save his life. You all know the story about the origin of Spider-Man and how he learnt the hard way that €˜with great power comes great responsibility€™, but if you need a refresher; dude gets bit by a radioactive spider, gets spider powers (except, depending on the source, the webs can be either artificial or come out of his wrists instead of his poop-chute), learns a horrible lesson and dedicates his life to fighting crime whilst being berated by Schillinger from Oz. The horrible lesson in question was that upon being cheated out of his money by a dodgy fight promoter, Parker lets an armed robber who had just taken the bookie€™s money run past him. Despite being able to stop him simply by sticking out his foot, Parker gives a nonchalant €˜eh€™ and lets him go. Naturally, the crook car-jacks Parker€™s Uncle Ben€™s ride and fatally shooting the old man in the process, giving Spider-Man a grief filled motif for the remainder of his crime-fighting career. Also, allowing the world to see Tobey Maguire€™s hilarious cry-face. Now, in no way am I condoning that you should trip up every armed criminal that runs past you (a swift kick in the gonads will suffice), but for a guy who knows that he has both the ability and the power to take out Macho Man Randy Savage, it is a bit of a dick move. Especially when you consider that hair. That hair definitely deserves an eight by six cell.
Contributor

When I was a kid, I used to think the moon followed our car everywhere.