9. But First... Let Me Take A Selfie
It cant be denied that spiders are horrible, unnerving creatures. If there is a God, then he obviously put them on this planet just to f*ck with us. The vast majority of people out there would not hesitate in the slightest to pick up a shoe and paint a wall with spider guts. They also would be mortified if they missed said spider and it ran under their dresser because they will never sleep in that room ever again. Spiders give so many people the heebie-jeebies, yet Spider-Man, despite also being pretty darn creepy because he is a friggin spider man, manages to remain universally beloved to both children and adults alike. This is entirely to do with the genius of Stan Lee; he made Peter Parker an every-man hero, who is just as worried about making enough dosh to pay rent as he is about stopping Rhino from breaking into the zoo when he is in heat. Spider-Man is capable of getting colds and muddling a relationship, as well as crawl up walls and sense danger instinctively. Unfortunately, theres another thing that Spidey does that many of us do even though it makes us sometimes appear egotistical and self-absorbed, especially when we feel the need to plaster them all over numerous social media platforms; selfies. As of now, he owns the Baxter Building and his own company, but there was a time when Peter Parker was a teenager looking to help Aunt May pay her bills. Peter approached the Daily Bugle, a newspaper run by J. Jonah Jameson, a man who sports a Hitler moustache because Hitler shouldnt have all the fun, and became a freelance photographer. How did he get this job? By taking pictures of himself as Spider-Man and selling them to Jameson, despite the newspaper constantly condemning Spidey as a menace. Spider-Man is the Kim Kardashian of superheroes. The guy makes a living off taking photos of himself and selling them to the media. If he lived in the real world, there would have been a Spider-Man sex tape, a tasteless reality show and a conga line of broken men.