Johnny Storm, aka the Human Torch, is an asshole, but unlike Peter Parker, Storm would readily admit it. Which instantly makes him less of an asshole than Parker. The story Spider-Man Tackles the Torch, from Amazing Spider-Man #8 (1964) immediately sets the standard for painfully hilarious chauvinism when Spider-Man decides to visit the house of Dorrie Evans, girlfriend of Johnny. As all wholesome introverts do, he intends to "Pay her a visit and show her what shes missing by not dating Spider-Man." Yes, Spidey plans on harnessing the power of great responsibility to strong-arm his friends missus into dating him, because thats what all superheroes did in an era where slapping a waitress on the ass was merely part of the tip. Spider-Mans intentions are shattered when he realises that there is a party going on at Dorries and a party means witnesses. Because his spider schtick isnt creepy enough, Parker peeks in the window to find Johnny doing fire tricks for the others. This royally ticks Spider-Man and he decides to upstage Johnny, unaware that a party isnt truly a party until something is on fire. Spidey proceeds to make himself known by hurling a bat made out of webbing through the window, which instantly made all the girls fall upon their knees and sob in excitement while another guest finally realised that the only way to avenge the death of his parents was to become a bat. I kid, everyone was creeped out because bats are even worse when theyre made out of spider webs. When Spider-Man stepped into the house and exclaimed something like, "Look guys, I can make a flying rat out of webs! Arent spiders awesome?", Johnny began hurling fire buzz-saws at the cobweb c*ck-blocker to the delight of everybody. They end up in a massive brawl which is then interrupted by the rest of the Fantastic Four. Invisible Girl butters Spidey up by telling him that "Youre entirely too clever and adorable to be fighting with us" and "Ill bet youre as handsome as you are muscular under that mask". Which begs the age-old question of why a woman who is married to a man who can stretch any part of his body would feel the need to flirt with a pubescent teen who specialises in crawling up walls. In this story, Spider-Man is an asshole thrice; he intends to steal Johnnys girlfriend, crashes his party and then hits on his sister when he gives her the gift of a Valentine heart made out of, you guessed it, webbing. This guy.
