10 Unfortunate Consequences Of Living In The Marvel Cinematic Universe

5. You Can't Be An Expert In Anything Without Somehow Capitulating To Superpowers

ruffalo As a hypothetical, let's argue that you're part of that fictional one percent. You know, the true super-geniuses. The men who can pull an equation out of their head and change the world, save your life with sparkplugs and a smile or can invent new world-changing things using just the items you might find in your garden shed. It must be sweet to be you. Every time the someone or some organisation comes across a potentially unsolvable problem, you get shipped in to sort it out, using all the tools you want. As somebody who is undoubtedly passionate about what you do €“ this isn't the 90s, enthusiasm is now perfectly legitimate €“ it must seem like you're living the dream. Well apparently, the Marvel Universe has other plans for you. It's going to find some screwed up way to twist fate on you, and give you some sort of superpower. I know what you might be thinking €“ what's wrong with that? If I can be smart and chuck cars about, then so much the better. I'd argue that's fair enough. Yet such are the dramatic rules in this world that €“ to borrow a paraphrase a sister Marvel franchise €“ with great power comes great responsibility, and occasionally a drinking problem. I mean, seriously, look at it. Every member of the Avengers has some sort of ridiculous baggage. It's just a plot necessity, as otherwise we'd just be watching the Hulk beat the world's problems to death then going home for tea and biscuits. Tony Stark is a borderline alcoholic driven mad by his burden as Earth's protector, Thor has some screwed up familial relations and a kingdom to help run, Hawkeye and Black Widow have terrible, terrible deeds in their backstory and Bruce Banner can't live anything close to a normal life. The only one who appears to come off ok is Cap, except he's got breathtaking psychological issues brought about through time displacement, and he can't even get drunk. So the moral of the story is this €“ if you've got any sort of world-leading expertise, there's a huge chance you're going to get piledrivered by dramatic irony and a stack of issues. It's just a law of nature €“ Tony Stark suffered critical injuries, Bruce Banner's a medical experiment gone wrong and god knows what movie-fate they've got planned for Hank Pym and Stephen Strange. Any road up, it's going to be pretty horrific.
Contributor
Contributor

Durham University graduate and qualified sports journalist. Very good at sitting down and watching things. Can multi-task this with playing computer games. Football Manager addict who has taken Shrewsbury Town to the summit of the Premier League. You can follow me at @Ed_OwenUK, if you like ramblings about Newcastle United and A Place in the Sun. If you don't, I don't know what I can do for you.